Friday, July 24, 2009

I have not forgotten....

I have not forgotten about my blog, I swear by all that is sacred and holy!!! Meaning: my shoes, my Coach bag and my unrelenting lust for that Scottish hunk of sex-on-a-stick, Gerard Butler, that I have NOT forgotten about my blog!!!! I've just been a busy lil bee for a while and had to put it on the back burner.

Truly I haven't a thing to talk about right now...I'll try though. Ummm, let's, about the economy? Still sucks, I'm guessing, though things here in good Virginia are just as fine as frog hair! Seems we're the state least effected by the sagging economy thanks to tourism, the military and my employer, the Newport News Shipyard (owned by Northrop Grumman, of course). Come on down, folks! We got heat and humidity but we also have central air conditioning that'll freeze your nads off and form icicles on your nosehairs, weeeehoooo! We also have the occassional hurricane, but pffft! What's a little wind and rain, eh? No bigs. Better than being buried under three feet of that vile shit called "snow" and then having insult added to injury, a couple inches of ICE to frost that shit-cake. Ugh. I'm so glad I'm not in Massachusetts. I am a Masshole, through and through, but that snow shit is not happenin'. No way, Huh-uh.
Go Sox, Pats rule, "pahk the cah" and all that, but I am not moving back. Ever. I'll do my yankee bit down here and drive all the locals bananas. I'll be THAT "damn yankee". Shove your Union Jack confederate flag up your redneck ass, I'm a liberal northerner who just HAPPENS to live here in the semi-south. Uh yeah kids, we're not IN the south. Technically this is the mid-Atlantic region, so I don't know where all this "southern pride" comes from, but it's a bit misplaced. Not completely, however. We've got peeps from all the country here, thanks to the armed forces (mostly Navy). Mmm, I loves me some sailors in their cracker jacks (is that what they call it? must ask the hubs). Ooh I saw a hot cop today at the concert in the park ...tall, dark hair, a face like a young Ray Liotta and some nice guns....and no, not the one in his holser. His ass was rather small, but I'll take it so long as the rest of him, um, makes up for it. OH HUSH! I know I'm married, don't gimme that 'tude. Hell, I'm married, not DEAD. A girl can look, can take in all the details and store him away to be taken out for use in a dirty movie reel in my head. Right? Well, if you disagree then you're either a prude or sorely misinformed. I meandering, or WHAT?!?!?!?! It could be as a result of the pomegranate martini I just slurped down. Or it could be that I'm a total spaz AND a bit A.D.D. So there you have it.

Umm, ok well I'm getting a bit horny with all this Gerard Butler/Ray Liotta talk so I'm going to go jump on my unsuspecting husband while y'all try to erase the mental image I may have just conjured up by telling you I'm going to go hump my hubby.

I'm rotten, aren't I?

Ah, you love it.