WARNING: TO THOSE WHO ARE CONSERVATIVE IN THEIR BELIEFS OR CHRISTIAN, OR SIMPLY CLOSE-MINDED I WARN YOU THAT THE CONENT OF THIS BLOG IS SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC AND THE TOPIC IS LIKELY TO BE OFFENSIVE TO YOU. DO NOT READ. IF YOU DO, THEN YOU'VE NO RIGHT TO GIVE ME AN OUNCE OF SHIT OR JUDGE ME, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Ya know, I wish I had something specific to blog about. Like, some blog about fashion, some about food, some about news, some about music...me? I blog about...well, about ME. That's what I know best. Me. Hence the title "Insanely Amy". I guess I just feel the need to blog now because I created it and until I come up with something meaningful you'll just have to deal with my nonsensical shit. Sorry. OK, no I'm not. :)
I would throw out questions and try to spur heated discussions if only I had more readers....maybe y'all need to send my blog to your friends. Then we can all just give each other scads of shit over our opinions and rant until we're blue in the face, eh?
There is one subject I'd like to get people's opinions on, but it's not something I'd put out say, on Facebook. Not with my husbands super christian and therefore, conservative, relatives lurking around out there. Not that I don't love em - I do, for sure, but my way of thinking is faarrrrr different than theirs.
Ok...so here it is. Open Marriage. Years ago if you asked me what I thought of this topic, well, first of all I wouldn't know what the hell you were talking about. Then once it was explained to me I would have said "Oh! No way! You like, totally have to be totally monogomous, like, to your spouse.!" Why would I have answered that way? Because that's what I was raised to believe. You were supposed to fall in love, get married and be with that one person for the rest of your life. No sex with anyone else, just that one person, until the day you kicked it. Or they left you. Hrm. OK. And there are those that DO live out their lives being completely and utterly faithful to that one person. Not that those in open marriages are being unfaithful - if they've both agreed to it then it's not being unfaithful now is it? OK but before I meander off into that side of the topic let me finish up here first. (and yes, I'm going to play both sides of the fence...heh heh...something I wish I'd done before - eh never mind)
OK so I see the appeal of having a completely monogomous marriage. Never have to wonder who your partner is with, what they're doing, whether they'll fall for that other person, if the other person is better in bed than you are, what they have that you don't, and so on, etc. But all of that comes as part of the jealousy - something you simply cannot have in an open marriage. It's a security thing. That, and how you're raised. Let's face it, we have things like this pounded into our heads because in our society, that's how it is. It's ingrained and you and the concept of anything else is completely alien to many of us. Then you have the bible thumpers who will tell you it's how God decreed it to be. Well....that's how MAN decreed it to be, really, but it matters not where it originated, it's how it is. I gotta wonder how this whole monogamy thing really started. Maybe it's because people found life to be a bit stressful with multiple partners. Shit, how do polygamists do it? It's got to be fucking exhausting!!! I am in a monogomous marriage and it's wonderful. But my attitude has changed greatly over the last 10 years or so, and while I treasure and respect my spouse and his needs and his ideas, I must confess......I totally see the appeal of an open marriage. So yes, now it is time for me to jump the fence and argue from the other side.
Are we really designed to be monogomous? One mate for the rest of our days here on earth? The same dick, or the same vagina, the same boobs, the same ass forever? Well, sure, why not? If you love those tits, that vag and that wingy-wang, then why should the prospect of having it and ONLY it til death do you part be so scary? I suppose it shouldn't. However, I think most of us will admit, whether it be to only ourselves or to others, that we have found ourselves at one time or another, no matter how happy we are in our relationships, attracted to another human being. We find ourselves wondering what it would be like to be with that person. That's not so unusual and there certainly isn't anything wrong with it. It's how we're wired, kids! Some of us stop at simply fantasizing about it. Others want to do it, but are afraid. Some go for it, get caught and their relationship falls apart. Then there are those that find a partner who shares their desire for a more open, and shall we say, varied sexual experience. Come on, think of the adventures! I'm not saying go out and fuck every dick or vag that walks your way - you have to be somewhat discriminating - but think of the freedom, the fun! You can take those experiences and bring them home to your partner and depending on your arrangement (some may not want to know what goes on when their partner is with someone else) you can share it with them, use it to fuel the fire between you and have your own adventures together! You have the freedom to connect physically with others, but you have that one devoted partner who you have physically, spiritually and emotionally.
However, this is a lifestyle or practice which is NOT for everyone. Some simply can't trust themselves or others enough to be able to handle this. Some I'm sure would think it a disgusting and utterly immoral way of life. It's a touchy subject, for sure, but one that I think can spark some interesting discussion.
Now, mind you, I'm not advocating one way or another - just an interesting topic and I wanted to explore both sides of it. If you've got an opinion, and wanna share, by all means. Hit me with it!
For now, I'm going to watch a little NCIS and "play both sides"...(meaning I'm going to sit here and drool equally over Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David - for those who are unfamiliar w/ the show, he is a smart-assed NCIS special agent, she is a Moussad officer who can kill you in 2 seconds, unarmed w/ one hand tied behind her back....sexy little accent, too).
Sorbet Spring in Windsor
6 months ago